I realize that those who read my blog might not really understand what my purpose is, in being where I am right now. Of course, EVERYONE knows it's the weather, right? I mean academically.
Here's the scoop. In lamen's terms, I hope.
I am finishing my master's in clinical psychology at Roosevelt. I'm done with my classwork and I am currently working on my thesis, which is obviously my final project. A thesis in psychology needs to be some kind of study--experiment, if you will. It is a very strict process. I am not doing my own experiment, though, in the sense that my thesis chair (professor) has already collected the data as part of her PhD dissertation. So, basically, she gathered a bunch of people together, assessed them, did some "activities" with them, and measured the results. She gathered LOTS of stuff--only part of which she used for her dissertation. Many of the measures are very similar to what is being done at UCI (see below). I'm looking at some slightly different issues than she did. I have to gather background information, propose my idea, analyze the data, and then finish the project. That should be done by about October.
In addition to this, I am looking to apply to doctoral programs. In psychology, that means either a PhD (research-focused) or a PsyD (clinically-focused). PhD programs are notoriously and ridiculously competitive!! So are PsyD prgrams, but PhD programs are much more so--that is because tuition & expenses are usually covered and funds are limited. To get into a PhD program, from what I'm told, one needs to have a great GPA, super GRE scores, a good amount of research experience, excellent recommendations, and a good fit with the department's research interests. My master's program didn't give me a lot of research experience (other than my thesis), mostly because I was unwilling to remain in Chicago all year. So, it made sense to seek out an opportunity in a warm climate. Plus, making contacts in this area will bode well for my future, as I am discovering.
So, I'm getting the research experience by participating heavily in this lab at UCI. I'm also getting a head start on submitting a publication or two (to a scientific journal) before I apply to programs--a BIG plus and a good way to stand out. My thesis will provide the data for one of these publications. The other will be the study that I am working on at UCI.
My research interest/focus is obviously on pregnancy. But more than that, it is focusing on biological markers of stress, depression, and/or anxiety. A bit more on that later.
The only thing that is left is the GRE. I plan to take that this fall, and start studying in late summer. The professor at UCI told me that she will gladly suggest me for a spot in their program, and I know (because she keeps telling me) that she wants me to stick around and be a part of their program--BUT, I have to get a decent score on the GRE. Talk about pressure!!
The big pregnancy study at UCI is really a big undertaking. It is probably a project that will take years for the lab to complete. They really are bold to do such a study, because pregnancy is very difficult to study--only 9 months, with visits in specific points during pregnancy, and difficult to follow-up with postpartum moms!! They are looking at all kinds of things--they take blood, they take saliva (for cortisol), they do a TSST (a stressful laboratory situation that makes them speak in public, promotes the release of stress hormones in the body), evaluate them psychiatrically, ask about mood....etc., etc. Very involved.
I have been involved in all aspects of this so far. I have really helped with recruiting--cuz, I know me some avenues to get the pregnant women!! I have also been learning how to do the psychiatric interview, performed the TSST (fun!), did some blood work, have been calling participants, and other administrative stuff like scheduling undergraduate research assistants for certain roles. I discovered that I hate the bloodwork--a sentiment that was not lost on all of my colleagues with my incessant, PMS-filled whining. Seriously, though, it's just so accurate and precise (and boring), it makes me nervous, and I don't even have a blood issue! So, the professor says I don't need to do that if I don't like it, I am a volunteer after all!! I told her I really want to dig in to the psychiatric interview--it's exactly what I'm interested in, being a clinical psychology student and all! You really know that's your thing when you're jealous of the 20-something's with a bachelor's degree who are down the hall interviewing the pregnant women, while you're doing bloodwork, and you're thinking, "That's no fair!! I wanna do what they're doing!! But I'm stuck here doing this crap..."
The study that I am spearheading at UCI is a very short-term thing. It is designed to get me a project and a publication before I apply to programs. See, isn't this professor just awesome!! She specifically sat down with me to strongly suggest that I do this. It's really win-win, because it is a publication for both of us. Anyway, I'm going to recruit undergraduate college students to come in and screen for anxiety, then put them in a 45-minute session for a) a guided visualization or b) a stress management lecture, then take salivary cortisol measurements and mood assessments both right after the session, and one week later. Voila! A study.
I guess that's about it. Leo is very supportive. He was really a cheerleader for me, empathizing that this is a really unique opportunity and I would be stupid to turn it down or not take it. I'm not getting paid, but there is that possibility in the future...if not at UCI, then at some other location...since I'll have a year of experience. So, even if this doesn't get me into a PhD program, I'll have skills that are marketable. And I'll know that I went to great, great lengths to get into a program, so I won't have regrets. Even if I end up going PsyD (which I will do in southern CA), I plan to work with this lab for a while, since their research is so interesting to me. Even with a PsyD, I can do research, it's just a slightly different approach.
'Til next time...
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Back
I've decided to start blogging again, after a hiatus. The reason why my last blog disappeared involves a long story, but I'm here. I've been through a lot in the last few months. So, I'll recap it for you:
Mid-December 2009...I left Chicago on a cold, cloudy, dreary day in December, with my kitty cat, in my little Toyota Yaris packed full of my belongings. I was sick to my stomach with anticipation over the tasks that lay before me--driving to Nashville, starting up my OLD rickety motorhome (which was stored there), hooking up my car to the towing apparatus all by myself...
...and hooking into the nearby campground where I had a reservation. All went well that day. I did find a broken kitchen faucet. And I was very worried that I would have inadequate heat, since the furnace was very temperamental on our last trip to GA (leaving us one freezing night without heat). Sure, I had electric heaters that would work if I was plugged in, but would they be enough in freezing temps? I doubted it, because they weren't enough in GA. I did learn a trick to lighting the furnace, which included lighting all of the stove burners to get the propane flowing, and that worked most of the time.
So I drove my rig into Arkansas, where I stayed at a state park, having arrived LATE at night and hooked up in almost complete darkness (and nearly out of gas!). I arrived so late because I decided to cut a day off of my travel in order to arrive in TX earlier, but I drove around 55-60 mph to save gas--a necessity, because I was getting around 5 miles per gallon (a $70 fill up every 100 miles, ack!)
It was an OK night. I didn't pay for my stay, because I couldn't find the office, & I had to back into the site (in the pitch black, yikes!!) because it wasn't a pull-through...but my cat adjusted well and I remember being warm that night. I wound down by covering the windows with plastic.
In the morning, though, despite a pretty lake view and sunshine, my hot water heater didn't work. After worrying that the tricky furnace would fail me, this was the last thing on my mind. I spent the whole freaking morning trying to figure out what to do, calling Leo & everything. No dice. No hot water. No showers at the campground. So I remained unshowered, packed it up and I moved on. I figured I would pull over later on to shower. My water tank was full, and I stopped at a RV service station on the way out of camp to see if someone could look at the water heater--and it turned on! Yey, I thought. I'll let it heat up and then stop at a rest stop to shower. No dice again. It stopped working. I finally stopped at a rest stop to take a COLD shower--pure HELL. That was the beginning of the end. I started to get really tired of spending all of that money on gas just to worry all day about how to make basic functions work.
I rolled into Dallas after a couple of days of driving (the longest, most expensive road trip experience of my LIFE!), and checked the rig into Camping World to be examined...after being told the water lines probably froze and it might cost $700-800 to fix. I cried and cried, stayed at my BFF's place with the kitty for a few nights...and decided I was done with the motorhome. I put it in storage, moved everything into my car, and submitted to driving to California in my Yaris with the cat. It was an 80-degree day in Dallas and it felt very liberating!
That's the short version of the story. Most of which has been erased from my memory due to the psychological trauma it caused me.Two days before Christmas, I drove to Tyler, TX to see "Team Hawk"--my second cousin, Ken Hawk, and his large and gingerly family =). It was heaven. They greeted me that rainy evening with pure white rice and gently sauteed vegetables, just how I needed them cooked. And they have such a cool house & had my kind of x-mas tree:
We have so much in common, and we spent the first two days just sitting and talking, sitting and talking...
They were so sensitive to my eating needs, open to sharing their thoughts and stories, and so welcoming. It snowed there on Christmas Eve, something they were all THRILLED about (in Texas, that's a novelty)...but it didn't make me happy!!
The kids wanted me to stay for Christmas eve/morning, so I did.
We were up so LATE on Christmas eve, wrapping their presents, and then those little ones...daggit if they didn't tiptoe into my room at 7am and wake me up so they could open presents!!
Most of that morning was a fog, but I do remember lots of homemade presents, contained joy, and most of all love and sincere "Thank You!"s and "I love you!"s coming from those tykes. They even got me a rice cooker, a great gift since I cook/eat SOOOO much rice!!
They're a good bunch. I can't wait to go back and see them again!!
On Christmas, I left and drove back to Heather's (my BFF) place. After spending the night with my kitty (who was pretty freaked out after being alone in a strange place for 2 days), we packed up and drove down to San Antonio, where Heather's family lives. I spent a couple of nice days there, too. It was fun to see her mom, who was our neighbor growing up. Most of my focus during those days became my final destination--California. Since I didn't have the motorhome, I needed to find a place to live. I decided to head to San Diego. We also took a nice walk, on a warm day, on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. It was warm and green there--very nice.
I left San Antonio after a couple of days, and drove to El Paso in one day (an 8-hour drive). I love seeing fun names of towns--this one is Comfort, TX (How ironic!!):
I was a little worried about how my cat would adjust to going in and out of the car and into different hotel rooms, but she was fine--a little freaked out, but she always seemed to find the bathtub (she loves bathtubs!) and slept with me on the bed. The morning I left El Paso, it snowed there!! In fact, throughout the desert of New Mexico, snow covered the ground! It was very, very strange.
I spent one more night on the road, near Phoenix, and then I arrived in San Diego. I spent a week at a hotel there, and then moved into a little studio on the back of someone's property.
Once I arrived in San Diego, my goal was to find work and find a place to get some research experience. My intention for traveling to the southwest this year was to find a research lab in a psychology department where I could participate significantly in order to put some experience on my resume. I started with an interview at UCLA. The professor I met with is active in research with pregnancy--just my thing! Plus, my thesis involves data of a professor at Roosevelt who did her dissertation at UCLA, so it seemed like a great fit. However, I soon learned that I would get bounced around a lot. At UCLA, the professor was discouraged that I was staying in San Diego, and didn't have anything definite for me--much different than her emails communicated. I think she really wanted to give me something substantial, seeing as I'm preparing to apply to PhD programs and I am almost done with my master's. She referred me to about 2-3 other universities/professors.
I interviewed with an anxiety lab in San Diego, literally 5 minutes from where I was staying! I thought that would be great! But, again, the lead researcher/doctor seemed to discourage me because he saw that my focus was pregnancy and he told me that I really should stick with my focus. Another person, at a different lab, told me that she thought I was "grossly overqualified" for a volunteer research assistant position! I was so disappointed, because I just wanted research experience!!
A few days later, though, I met with a professor at UC Irvine, and I realized that I found my place! The professor there works specifically with pregnancy and postpartum research! Not only that, but their studies involve many of the same measures (cortisol, TSST, SCID, depression) that my thesis is using. She was very warm and welcoming, encouraging me to jump in and get involved. She also encouraged me to make a 1-year commitment to being there. I also met with two of her graduate students, who were also very down-to-earth and encouraging. That afternoon, I immediately started asking about apartments in Orange County (OC)--I knew that was where I was headed.
I also applied for a teaching position at a massage school in OC, preparing myself to commute from San Diego, if need be. However, it immediately became clear that I would be moving to OC. And I did. Within a few weeks, I was already commuting to UC Irvine a few days per week, interviewing for the teaching job (and others) and looking for apartments.
I got the teaching job, I found an apartment, and I moved (with dear Leo's help) on March 1st. I signed a 1-year lease, bought a king-sized bed and everything!! While Leo was here, he visited some of his clients & vendors, which was a really great experience for him. One vendor had a "Leo Table" (pictured below) and a warehouse 10x the size of his--they are role models for him!
I've now been here almost a month. My teaching job started, changed drastically (the weekend class I was hired for was canceled)...I took the first massage job that I was offered, at a franchise that payed very low and treated me like a 5-year-old, and have since quit...I'm now teaching weeknights and looking forward to starting a job at a chiropractic office in the mornings...
AND...I'm participating in the research at the UCI lab and already starting my very OWN study! More on that later.
I'm also a bit homesick and wondering how this next year will be. There is a lot in store for my future--work, research, thesis, applying to PhD programs (including UCI's program, where I constantly hear about how they hope I "stick around" for longer than 1-year), visits to Chicago, and enjoying the sunshine and warm temps.
I never thought I'd end up in Orange County (!), but it's okay for now. I would never have chosen to relocate here--it's like a stifling, conservative, snooty, suburban wasteland. There's not really much culture, and there is a big divide between the really rich, entitled folks and the poor minorities. Everyone drives really fast and people are kind of rude, especially in grocery stores and such. But, of course, the weather is really nice, so I'm learning to deal with it and be grateful for this opportunity.
I'll post updates frequently....although I doubt they will be very exciting after this first post!!
Mid-December 2009...I left Chicago on a cold, cloudy, dreary day in December, with my kitty cat, in my little Toyota Yaris packed full of my belongings. I was sick to my stomach with anticipation over the tasks that lay before me--driving to Nashville, starting up my OLD rickety motorhome (which was stored there), hooking up my car to the towing apparatus all by myself...
...and hooking into the nearby campground where I had a reservation. All went well that day. I did find a broken kitchen faucet. And I was very worried that I would have inadequate heat, since the furnace was very temperamental on our last trip to GA (leaving us one freezing night without heat). Sure, I had electric heaters that would work if I was plugged in, but would they be enough in freezing temps? I doubted it, because they weren't enough in GA. I did learn a trick to lighting the furnace, which included lighting all of the stove burners to get the propane flowing, and that worked most of the time.
So I drove my rig into Arkansas, where I stayed at a state park, having arrived LATE at night and hooked up in almost complete darkness (and nearly out of gas!). I arrived so late because I decided to cut a day off of my travel in order to arrive in TX earlier, but I drove around 55-60 mph to save gas--a necessity, because I was getting around 5 miles per gallon (a $70 fill up every 100 miles, ack!)
It was an OK night. I didn't pay for my stay, because I couldn't find the office, & I had to back into the site (in the pitch black, yikes!!) because it wasn't a pull-through...but my cat adjusted well and I remember being warm that night. I wound down by covering the windows with plastic.
In the morning, though, despite a pretty lake view and sunshine, my hot water heater didn't work. After worrying that the tricky furnace would fail me, this was the last thing on my mind. I spent the whole freaking morning trying to figure out what to do, calling Leo & everything. No dice. No hot water. No showers at the campground. So I remained unshowered, packed it up and I moved on. I figured I would pull over later on to shower. My water tank was full, and I stopped at a RV service station on the way out of camp to see if someone could look at the water heater--and it turned on! Yey, I thought. I'll let it heat up and then stop at a rest stop to shower. No dice again. It stopped working. I finally stopped at a rest stop to take a COLD shower--pure HELL. That was the beginning of the end. I started to get really tired of spending all of that money on gas just to worry all day about how to make basic functions work.
I rolled into Dallas after a couple of days of driving (the longest, most expensive road trip experience of my LIFE!), and checked the rig into Camping World to be examined...after being told the water lines probably froze and it might cost $700-800 to fix. I cried and cried, stayed at my BFF's place with the kitty for a few nights...and decided I was done with the motorhome. I put it in storage, moved everything into my car, and submitted to driving to California in my Yaris with the cat. It was an 80-degree day in Dallas and it felt very liberating!
That's the short version of the story. Most of which has been erased from my memory due to the psychological trauma it caused me.Two days before Christmas, I drove to Tyler, TX to see "Team Hawk"--my second cousin, Ken Hawk, and his large and gingerly family =). It was heaven. They greeted me that rainy evening with pure white rice and gently sauteed vegetables, just how I needed them cooked. And they have such a cool house & had my kind of x-mas tree:
We have so much in common, and we spent the first two days just sitting and talking, sitting and talking...
They were so sensitive to my eating needs, open to sharing their thoughts and stories, and so welcoming. It snowed there on Christmas Eve, something they were all THRILLED about (in Texas, that's a novelty)...but it didn't make me happy!!
The kids wanted me to stay for Christmas eve/morning, so I did.
We were up so LATE on Christmas eve, wrapping their presents, and then those little ones...daggit if they didn't tiptoe into my room at 7am and wake me up so they could open presents!!
Most of that morning was a fog, but I do remember lots of homemade presents, contained joy, and most of all love and sincere "Thank You!"s and "I love you!"s coming from those tykes. They even got me a rice cooker, a great gift since I cook/eat SOOOO much rice!!
They're a good bunch. I can't wait to go back and see them again!!
On Christmas, I left and drove back to Heather's (my BFF) place. After spending the night with my kitty (who was pretty freaked out after being alone in a strange place for 2 days), we packed up and drove down to San Antonio, where Heather's family lives. I spent a couple of nice days there, too. It was fun to see her mom, who was our neighbor growing up. Most of my focus during those days became my final destination--California. Since I didn't have the motorhome, I needed to find a place to live. I decided to head to San Diego. We also took a nice walk, on a warm day, on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. It was warm and green there--very nice.
I left San Antonio after a couple of days, and drove to El Paso in one day (an 8-hour drive). I love seeing fun names of towns--this one is Comfort, TX (How ironic!!):
I was a little worried about how my cat would adjust to going in and out of the car and into different hotel rooms, but she was fine--a little freaked out, but she always seemed to find the bathtub (she loves bathtubs!) and slept with me on the bed. The morning I left El Paso, it snowed there!! In fact, throughout the desert of New Mexico, snow covered the ground! It was very, very strange.
I spent one more night on the road, near Phoenix, and then I arrived in San Diego. I spent a week at a hotel there, and then moved into a little studio on the back of someone's property.
Once I arrived in San Diego, my goal was to find work and find a place to get some research experience. My intention for traveling to the southwest this year was to find a research lab in a psychology department where I could participate significantly in order to put some experience on my resume. I started with an interview at UCLA. The professor I met with is active in research with pregnancy--just my thing! Plus, my thesis involves data of a professor at Roosevelt who did her dissertation at UCLA, so it seemed like a great fit. However, I soon learned that I would get bounced around a lot. At UCLA, the professor was discouraged that I was staying in San Diego, and didn't have anything definite for me--much different than her emails communicated. I think she really wanted to give me something substantial, seeing as I'm preparing to apply to PhD programs and I am almost done with my master's. She referred me to about 2-3 other universities/professors.
I interviewed with an anxiety lab in San Diego, literally 5 minutes from where I was staying! I thought that would be great! But, again, the lead researcher/doctor seemed to discourage me because he saw that my focus was pregnancy and he told me that I really should stick with my focus. Another person, at a different lab, told me that she thought I was "grossly overqualified" for a volunteer research assistant position! I was so disappointed, because I just wanted research experience!!
A few days later, though, I met with a professor at UC Irvine, and I realized that I found my place! The professor there works specifically with pregnancy and postpartum research! Not only that, but their studies involve many of the same measures (cortisol, TSST, SCID, depression) that my thesis is using. She was very warm and welcoming, encouraging me to jump in and get involved. She also encouraged me to make a 1-year commitment to being there. I also met with two of her graduate students, who were also very down-to-earth and encouraging. That afternoon, I immediately started asking about apartments in Orange County (OC)--I knew that was where I was headed.
I also applied for a teaching position at a massage school in OC, preparing myself to commute from San Diego, if need be. However, it immediately became clear that I would be moving to OC. And I did. Within a few weeks, I was already commuting to UC Irvine a few days per week, interviewing for the teaching job (and others) and looking for apartments.
I got the teaching job, I found an apartment, and I moved (with dear Leo's help) on March 1st. I signed a 1-year lease, bought a king-sized bed and everything!! While Leo was here, he visited some of his clients & vendors, which was a really great experience for him. One vendor had a "Leo Table" (pictured below) and a warehouse 10x the size of his--they are role models for him!
I've now been here almost a month. My teaching job started, changed drastically (the weekend class I was hired for was canceled)...I took the first massage job that I was offered, at a franchise that payed very low and treated me like a 5-year-old, and have since quit...I'm now teaching weeknights and looking forward to starting a job at a chiropractic office in the mornings...
AND...I'm participating in the research at the UCI lab and already starting my very OWN study! More on that later.
I'm also a bit homesick and wondering how this next year will be. There is a lot in store for my future--work, research, thesis, applying to PhD programs (including UCI's program, where I constantly hear about how they hope I "stick around" for longer than 1-year), visits to Chicago, and enjoying the sunshine and warm temps.
I never thought I'd end up in Orange County (!), but it's okay for now. I would never have chosen to relocate here--it's like a stifling, conservative, snooty, suburban wasteland. There's not really much culture, and there is a big divide between the really rich, entitled folks and the poor minorities. Everyone drives really fast and people are kind of rude, especially in grocery stores and such. But, of course, the weather is really nice, so I'm learning to deal with it and be grateful for this opportunity.
I'll post updates frequently....although I doubt they will be very exciting after this first post!!
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